Letters to the sea🌊

 *************************************

When I was a child I never had good dreams at sleep
I had to go through a lot to sleep, that part hasn't changed
There was always too much chaos, sometimes in a desert, marooned
Sometimes fire that would gulp down my whole
Sometimes waterbodies too vast that I can't control
The water sources if not shallow are scarier to imagine.
Think of someone made to sit on a pole but in the middle of a sea
And the wind is soo hard that the pole starts swinging and the little wooden plank on which you are sitting is drifting out of control
There's no trace of land that you don't know in what direction to scream for help
It's not like many would help even then, coz the sea could be afar
Help is also impossible coz they don't know you exist
Maybe there's no land at all

In dreams, you don't get nostalgia
not because the realm doesn't exist in the dream
But because not all have the privilege of nostalgia,
maybe you are just a piece of energy stuck in trauma that's strange coz you know you exist without any energy but you need to call you something.

I havent  thought much  of  contrasts 
but when contrasting events occur you wish you had known about it long before, especially if it's a good thing that occurs after years of bad occurring
You never know if the worst of dreams would still be better than real events
But that's the sad part,
now we are here settling with the worse ones
I cannot write happy poems when I am put in a sad room
I could write lines of hope maybe a 100 times but then I wear out
I am only human or maybe a sad witch with no power

If lately, I have started writing love letters to the sea, its contrasts 
It's pure coz I know it's real and it's better than an entire childhood
, only I can say that about me  as a child,
coz only I know I was a sad child who pretended to be active
Right at this moment if I were planning to write to the sea it's going to be about love,

I would tell the sea that I am only angry
to the ones who put me on top of a pole, trapped.
I would talk to the sea and explain I wasn't unhappy about the sea
but they made me look like I was.
I would see the land
The sun could help me there and I would still keep writing to the sea
for I know I would always have conversations with the sea,
we both screamed, but we weren't heard, not once

*****************************************************

-writtensomeday in July-August-2021

You🌊!! I love you!!! You make me write eh!